I think this is my very favorite picture and that is saying a lot given the sheer volume of my collection. I didn’t take this picture but when I look at it I truly wish I had met the man who did. When I look at it, I wish I could give him one of those fierce, deep hugs and thank him for this photograph; thank him for every time I have looked at this photograph and was wrapped in the memory of the fierce deep hugs my grandfather gave me. This photograph was taken the year he died and I graduated from high school. Though it is old and faded, it brings back memories so rich and real that I can feel and hear and taste and smell them still. I can feel the weight of his big heavy hands patting me solidly on the back. I can feel my face sleepy and warm resting on his chest. A feeling so sweet I put up with the scratchy wool of his button down. I can hear him chanting “a-mana-mana-mana” as he bounced me on his lap releasing giggles and glee. I can smell the leg of lamb roasting in the kitchen and Orzo simmering on the stove on Sunday afternoon. I can hear the soundtrack to Never on a Sunday turning under the needle of the stereo. I can feel my grandfather taking my tiny hand in his and dancing me around the room in a way only exuberant Greek men can- knees high, feet deftly crossing over and back, hands clapping. In this photograph, I see the most beautiful man I’ve ever known. Though the wages of time line his face, he seems no less a lion to me- strong and powerful with no need to act upon it. The slight upward turn of his mouth belies a mix of kindness and mischief. I see the man who called me the Skippy kid because I wouldn’t eat egg salad. And gave me a sip of Ouzo when I wouldn’t stop crying (Ouzo is the cure for a lot of things.)

A photograph can never replace the person. I would certainly prefer to have him here in three dimensions. But he is in my heart. And there is something about this photograph that makes it possible for me to clear away the cobwebs, dig through the boxes and find those long lost moments of joy and love, even of sadness and pain, that bring him back to me in fleeting moments when I need him most. I keep this photograph on my desk and have for as long as I remember. I tell my child stories about him so he will be in her heart too and she will know how powerful love is. A portrait is so common now. It’s a rare and beautiful thing to take a portrait that captures the true spirit of a person. A picture capable of bringing them to the top of your mind and heart. To this photographer, whoever you are, thank you for a gift I cherish every day. May we all give this gift to someone.

Copyright Catherine Matthews 2017.

13 responses to “Love in Black and White”

  1. This is truly heart touching.

  2. Interesting thoughts on the role of the photographer.

  3. Again with the chills and the misty eyes on this end! Beautiful sentiments, beautiful man, beautiful photo and though not my own memories, you’ve stirred memories of my own wonderful, magical grandpa. My favorite person!! Interestingly, my grandpa died the year I graduated from high school, as well. I would give my right arm for my sons to have known him. Thank you for this gift – for sharing your glorious self!!

    1. I’m so glad this touched you. We were so lucky to have known this kind of love.

  4. Such an amazing sentiment! Truly touching!

  5. Hi Catherine this photo immediately caught my attention, despite not having an emotional connection like you have.

  6. It is truly a glimpse into your heart. I wonder if a photographer truly understands the legacy when creating a portrait. I have an aunt, who I have use her picture as a prompt to bring her kindness and heart to my own children. Your post makes me think how much more time there is to bring legacy forward through image.

    1. Beautifully said! What a wonderful idea for the classroom.

  7. […] I wasn’t to talk until the stern voice of Walter Cronkite faded away. As soon as it was over, Grandpa would lift the lid on the cabinet and turn on the record player.  We had to wait for him to gently […]

  8. […] muse on life, love, and lessons I have learned. Whether I am writing about the love of my life, my grandpa, my dogs, my dad, my daughter or my day, I find myself laughing and crying and shaking my head.  […]

  9. […] that with my grandpa. I knew he would not be around forever, but I also knew the memories of being loved so deeply and unconditionally would last her a […]

Leave a Reply

Trending

Discover more from Catherine Matthews Author

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading